


the empty heart (that lacked your presence)

by natanije



Series: em-pyei-n vari-fen jang [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Amnesia, F/M, Memory Loss, Naruto is Naruto even if he gets old okay, because Naruto is a literal sunshine, being Kakashi is Suffering, this chapter is both angsty and fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 22:37:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10796166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natanije/pseuds/natanije
Summary: It hurts.It aches in his heart like something dull is embedded in it, it messes with his mind and gleefully takes away his strength bit by bit. There’s panic, fear, and worry running through his veins and he’s at loss on what to do,dammit, he was so happy when she woke up and yet—And yet—





	the empty heart (that lacked your presence)

 

_Then, new days began._

_The empty heart that lacked your presence_

_Was just like a world where the sun never raised on the sky._

**em-pyei-n vari-fen jang; Vocals by ORIGA**

* * *

_Sensei,_ she said.

_Sensei, why are you holding my hand?_

Sensei.

The word is hanging over his head like a cruel mockery of what he was and failed quite spectacularly at, spinning and replaying over and over again in his head to the point it gives him a mild headache.

She hasn't called him that for _years_ , other than some very rare teases here and there, as well as some play time in bed, and the very moment she called him that—while looking so honestly bewildered and confused—he knows something is utterly, _terribly_ wrong.

He _knows_ Sakura; he knows if she's lying or teasing him, knows if she's not entirely serious when she's in a conversation, because for all of her talent in regards to chakra control and medical ninjutsu, she's an awful liar, like most of the members in team seven.

There _should_ be hints of amusement in her eyes, the slight twitch of her lips that she can't hold in, a soft gaze, or even a small snicker—there _should_ be, there should—but when she talked to him after she woke up: how she looked so confused, and dare he say, a bit _spooked_ at how Kakashi was holding her hand, as well as how the last thing she remembered was the Tora catching mission when Tora the Devil Cat is already _dead_ , replaced by Meong the equally ferocious cat, when Sakura hasn't called Sasuke as _Sasuke-kun_ for years, when in actuality _Sasuke-kun_ is nowhere nearby Konoha or even Fire Country to properly lead a mission.

Well.

With things like that sprouting out in front of him, it's very understandable and perfectly reasonable that Kakashi yodeled away from the room.

(He did not run away in fright and panic, he totally _didn't_ ).

(Okay, he probably did).

In all seriousness, he managed to blurt to Tsunade on how things are incredibly wrong on so many levels, managed to give an almost coherent explanation to the Slug Princess about what happened after Sakura had woken up, managed _not_ to destroy Tsunade's personal lab in the hospital.

( _"You said there should be nothing wrong with her! You said!"_

_"Kakashi-sama," Shizune approaches him, positioning herself in front of Tsunade like a perfect shield, "please, calm down!"_

_"Quiet," he glowers, "and I told you to stop with the 'sama' thing already!"_ )

He deserves a reward, he thinks, because all he wanted to do then was to crush everything nearby him. Pent-up frustration is a bad thing in a shinobi, which is perhaps the reason why Tsunade sent him away to the Training Grounds as _doctor's orders_ —as if he ever actually followed any doctor advices at all—right after she got confirmation over Sakura's _condition_ in under five seconds flat and flicked his forehead (which is, _ow,_ now that he thinks back about it) for speaking rudely to her apprentice, no matter if he's the Hokage and he should be the one barking orders right now.

(Tsunade is reasonable and _scary_. If she ever orders him around while he's still Hokage, he's damn well gonna do what she says.

Has he ever mentioned that she's _scary_? She's scary).

Now that he's expressed his emotions not through yodeling but actual ninja techniques, he's managed to calm down a little bit and thinks things through.

Though there are no more things to think about other than the fact that she doesn't remember _so much things_ , because catching Tora mission means D-ranks and D-ranks means _genin_ and oh my God, Sakura is twelve again in mind and he _held_ basically twelve-year-old Sakura's hand and slept on the chair next to her and—

And she doesn't remember about him,

About _them_.

And it hurts, somehow. It aches in his heart like something dull is embedded in it, it messes with his mind and gleefully takes away his strength bit by bit. There's panic, fear, and worry running through his veins and _he's at loss on what to do, dammit, he was so happy when she woke up and yet—_

_And yet—_

…

He cannot fault Sakura on this.

He can't and he mustn't, because this is not her fault, and to blame her for forgetting is just wrong, just like how everything is so wrong at the moment. It's the seal's fault, the one near a temple she fought nearby, the one designed for _protection_ means. Kakashi wants to scoff at it, really, because _protection_ doesn't erase a random person's more than a decade worth of memories.

Tsunade promises him to look into the seal arrays in order to reverse the effect it has on Sakura, and he can help; he can borrow Minato-sensei's and Kushina-san's seal notes that he's given to Naruto after the Fourth War, he's learnt a fair share about sealing from both aforementioned people. He _can_ help with the research.

But he's Hokage and with it comes responsibility, and also because Tsunade won't allow him to abandon Hokage duties in favor of researching about seals.

(" _I can get Naruto and Tenten to help me," Tsunade shoos him away, pushing his shoulder gently, "I can also get Kabuto and Karin to help. They have the Uzumaki seal notes that Orochimaru stole from Uzushio. It'll be fine, brat. Now go destroy the Training Grounds."_ )

This is the time he really regrets ever accepting to be Hokage.

Really.

( _There's still something that settled deep in his gut, eating him up inside._

_Because it's not only him that is hurting, he knows, truly._

_But who is_ currently _hurting is not what he's afraid of._

 _He's more afraid on who_ will _be hurting, once they find out about this predicament_

 _He certainly hopes the matter is fixed before it happens)_.

* * *

She's supposed to be 28 year old.

At least, that's what Shizune-san told her.

Her body is of a twenty-eight year-old woman, and she is supposed to have the memories to accompany it.

The problem is that she doesn't remember ever being fourteen, much less twenty eight, because for her she is twelve, a mere green genin who is still living up her D-rank days, chasing after Sasuke-kun and scolding Naruto on daily basis, not twenty eight.

But Shizune-san said it's alright for her to be confused, because she is essentially the wrong mind in the wrong body, and that it'll only be temporary, because Tsunade-sama ( _and isn't that a surprise, to figure out that the blonde woman with the same tattoo as hers is actually the Senju Tsunade, and it's even more of a surprise, to find the Slug Princess smiling at her so softly in a similar way she's seen her mother do to her numerous times in the past)_ is looking for a way to fix this, to fix her.

It feels wrong to think of herself as something _wrong_ and in need to be fixed, but her body shows her otherwise and knowing that she's lost a worthy amount of memories, she agrees easily enough that it's better to regain her memories.

After all, if she keeps on thinking she is twelve, while her body is…

Well, it's very weird.

Everything is weird.

"Sakura-chan?"

At the call of her name, she looks away from the pretty pink flowers in a vase sitting near her hospital bed and moves her gaze toward the source of the familiar yet deeper timbre—

And almost chokes in surprise at the sight in front of her.

Blond hair ( _it's shorter_ , she thinks as she once again mourns over short hairs, _it's_ really _short. Why is everyone's hair shorter?_ ), bright blue eyes, an easy—albeit a bit hesitant—smile, the strange whisker marks on his cheeks—

And is he wearing _black_?

"…Naruto?"

The man—obviously Naruto—brightens in a way that is quite similar to how she remembers, and he puts his hands on his hips, grinning.

"Hey, you remember me! Man, and here I thought you don't remember me at all, 'ttebayo!"

Almost on instinct, she huffs at him, "I don't remember anything past me being _twelve_ , Baka-Naruto, not me forgetting everything."

"Oh, that's right! Right, right." Naruto nods furiously, "anyway, Baa-chan told me to take you around Konoha for sight seeing! I mean, it must be _boooring_ to be in the hospital all day, even though you're usually in the hospital all day if you're not on missions, but that's because you're working here, right, and it's different because you're a patient now, Sakura-chan, so," he finally pauses after a long babble that almost makes her head spin—though she manages to find out that apparently she works at the hospital—and grins in a way that is weird (because Naruto is older and _whoa, he's wearing black!_ ) but also very familiar, "let's go to Ichiraku, Sakura-chan!"

And that's very typical of him too.

"Baka-Naruto, I am not escaping hospital food to eat ramen!"

"But—!"

" _No_."

**Author's Note:**

> *gives you all heart emojis*
> 
>  
> 
> **next chapter: my dear brethren (can you hear my voice?)**


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